Life in Balance- Attention Newlyweds

So you just got married. Congratulations!
Remember this: your wedding was not the end of a journey, it was the beginning.
Here are a few pointers that your pre-marital counsellor may or may not have told you.

1. Don’t let it all hang out: To a certain degree, you need to give your spouse respect and space and not let them see the worst of you most of the time. Let me explain. Girls, those granny knickers, ugly robe and plain-Jane pajamas have got to go! Maybe you can wear them if your husband travels or something but as long as he is around, keep them to a minimum. Men(and ladies), if you must kiss in the morning, pop a breath mint. Do not come into bed with the stinkies: breath, body or socks. Any shaving of body hair should not be done in view of the other person.

2. Romance: Do not think that now you are married, you can stop all the”honey”, “sweetheart”, “baby”. In fact, now you should do it more. It keeps the romance alive. Men, if you used to buy her flowers once a month when you were dating, now it should be twice a month. Think of your spouse and save them that last piece of cake. Call them up at work. Leave love notes in his/ lunch box.

3. Mentorship: Find a couple whose marriage you respect and get close to them, hang out with them, get them to share the “secrets of their success” such that they are. These are the people you can go to for wise, confidential counsel. Do not wait until you have a problem so serious that someone wants to run out, before you find a mentor. Find one while the going is good. You don’t try to buy car insurance after an accident, do you?

4. Don’t rehearse your problems: No matter how great your pre-marital counseling was, you will have challenges. Do not run from friend to friend, complaining about your spouse. This is betrayal! Do not run to your family to complain about the issues you are having in your marriage. They will not forget it even after the problem is ancient history.

5.Family: Speaking of family, your spouse should never have to confront your family. Family issues should be dealt with by the person from the family, not the daughter/ son-in-law. Protect your spouse from your family( if you come from one of the families). Your spouse comes first, not mama, not papa. If you wanted to be with your family you should not have got married.

That’s all for now!

*This piece is dedicated to Bunmi and Oge Adeboje who recently got married. They know all this already though 🙂 *



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