Marriage was designed to be heaven on earth but if you do the following things consistently, you will be sure to have a marriage from hell!
I had the privilege of listening to Pastor Ezekiel Atang, a well known speaker on the subject of marriage and here are some of the things he shared at his last meeting.

8 ways to make you marriage hell on earth:

1. Not giving God His place in your home: God is to be acknowledged in our homes , not just in church. We need to pray to Him and have consistent fellowship with him. We need to put him first as our Creator, Provider, Problem-Solver.

2. Not forgiving: If you do not forgive your spouse, your marriage is headed for the rocks. Forgiving someone does not mean pretending they did not do something wrong. It means accepting their sincere apology( sometimes you have to make up your mind to forgive them, even before they apologize), and not holding the offense against them and not seeking vengeance of some sort.

3. Communication breakdown: Talk, talk, talk! Talk until you are blue in the face. Talk about everything! See my posts: Saying It Right, Saying Sorry, and Fighting Fair . Even if you are angry with each other, the communication lines should be left open. Am I saying this is easy? Of course not. It is however, worth it.

4. Pride: Pride kills marriages. You have to be teachable, flexible and not stuck in your ways to be a good wife/husband. No, you are not always right, about everything.”I love you”, “I am sorry”, “Thank you”, should be frequent words in your home. Your high horse will not serve you the day your spouse gets tired of your prideful ways.

5. Selfishness: Selfishness and marriage do not go together. Personally, I think selfishness is the number one enemy of marriages. You HAVE to put the other person first. You have to consider them in all that you do. From little things like not eating the last piece of cake, to major things like issues related to finances.

6. The other man/ the other woman: It may not be always be adultery, it may be an emotional affair, so called “platonic” relationship, “best friend” of the opposite sex. Sorry gals, your best friend cannot be a man. Leave your exes behind. That is why they are called exes. If you have children with your ex, let your dealings with him/her revolve around the children’s needs. Don’t sleep with other people, that’s just wrong. Avoid compromising situations. If you are developing emotional ties to someone, tell your spouse. Nip it in the bud before you reach the point of no return

7. Prolonged financial set backs: There is reason why money troubles are the number one cause of marital discord. Get your finances in order.

8. No fellowship: Pastor Ezekiel talked about fellowships with God, fellow believers and with your spouse. As brevity is the soul of wit, I will limit this discourse to one type of fellowship. SEX. It is not ok to go months and years without having sex with your spouse. If it has been more than a week, speak up! Whatever the cause of the dry spell, it has to be addressed and dealt with. See my post titled “Missionary Positon”. If your sex life is dead, revive it!

Hope this helps some marriages out there!


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