Affair-Proofing your Marriage Part 2

See the concluding part of this write up below: 

Harmless flirting: Flirting is not harmless. The Bible says let your yes be yes and your no be no. Do not make a habit of being flirtatious. Those veiled comments and insinuations about what may have been, if only, etc, etc, just sow seeds of trouble. Besides, you never know who is taking what comments seriously. If you do not have anything but innuendo to say to someone, you need to be quiet until you can say things that are truly uplifting. This is not to say that you cannot pay people compliments. You can tell someone their hair looks good, or their clothes are pretty without being sexual or offensive.  If you want to flirt, send your wife/husband a naughty text. They will probably appreciate it too!
 Avoid pornography: Contrary to popular (false) opinion, these do not enhance your sexual relationship with your spouse. If anything, the introduce impossible fantasies which intrude on your relationship. They bring an unreal picture in the mind of the viewer which can lead to a person seeking those things outside of marriage.  There are some so called “educational” materials that are nothing but pornography. Watch out. Do not start down a slippery slope.
Realistic expectations: Marriage is a long term relationship. Your spouse is not going to be the same everyday and he/she is going to do things that you do not like from time to time.  Do not fall into the trap of thinking that the grass is greener at the other side. It is not. If you are having issues with your spouse, an affair is not the answer. If your spouse has an affair, an affair is not the answer.”But he/she is not meeting my needs”. What are you doing to meet his/her needs? Have you had discussions with them? Note: I said discussion, not accusation.  Do not expect your spouse to be your everything. They are not your God.
Well, that concludes this piece. Please feel free with comments and suggestions. Have a great day!


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Tony Puccio
    May 22, 2012 @ 00:51:40

    “You have heard that it was said, ‘Never commit adultery.’ But I can guarantee that whoever looks with lust at a woman has already committed adultery in his heart. “So if your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose a part of your body than to have all of it thrown into hell.
    (Mat 5:27-29 GW)


  2. Esther
    May 22, 2012 @ 01:53:22

    Thanks for getting the facts straight; it answers questions & offer solutions on how to deal with issues in Marriage.


  3. Eric Alagan
    May 23, 2012 @ 04:48:35

    I believe in any relationship > we need to temper our expectations. The more unrealistic our expectations, the greater the disappointments.


    • sholashade
      May 23, 2012 @ 17:22:58

      I kind of blame the media in part for this. The hollywood idea of love is not real love, the Hollywood idea of marriage is a sham, and people actually expect their lives to be this unending romance where no one does anything wrong and every problem is resolved by wild sex.


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