The Missionary Position

SEX AND THE MARRIED COUPLE

As years go by and life rolls along, married couples can soon find themselves becoming a boring cliché with little to no bedroom life. This should not be. The Bible states: Let her breasts satisfy you at ALL times and ALWAYS be enraptured with her love.(Prov 5:19)

I am actually going to go from the point of view of things you can do outside the bedroom to spice things up in the bedroom.

1. Date night: Remember when you use to go out on dates? How did you feel when he dropped you off at home? I bet you’re feeling the nostalgia over again. Get dressed, go out, talk about “Us”. No bills, no kids, no college funds, no work. Talk about yourselves, your relationship and where you want to see it headed. Make this a regular thing. Once a week, once a month(no, not once a year). Once in 6 weeks is my recommended minimum.

2.Realize that there are differences between men and women. We are created equal , but not the same. Men are visual when it comes to sex and usually, women take a while to get all “hot and ready”. So men, don’t expect a woman who has been working all day, rushed home, made dinner and is exhausted; to suddenly be ready to get freaky. Help her out, run a bath, give her a massage and see where it takes you. Ladies, no man wants to be made to feel he has to beg for sex or earn it. Give a little.  Ask for help where you need it. Both parties can learn to communicate their needs in away that does not make the other feel threatened; as well as bend over backwards for your partner. He/She is the love of your life right?

3.Be creative: The missionary position is not the only one, your bedroom is not the only place. There are many uses for the stairs, the kitchen countertop, the back seat of your jeep(if you get caught by police, don’t blame me!)Role playing will not harm you or your faith. Make it fun for each other. Do something different. Create a romantic atmosphere, don’t just do it out of a sense of duty.

4. Swinging, pornography, adultery and solo sex undermine your sex life, they DO NOT enhance it.

5. Prepare: Do not expect sex to just “happen”, especially if you and your husband have tight schedules that pull you in so many different directions. That is just as silly as expecting a meal to just show up on your plate and jump into your stomach. Just as you have to prepare a meal, you have to prepare for sex. Put it in your schedule.

7.See a doctor: You may need to see a medic if you are experiencing problems such as vaginal dryness,erectile dysfunction, anorgasmia, premature ejaculation. No it is not wrong for a practising Christian to take Viagra.

8.Frequency: How much is too much?How little is too little? It is all about compromise. Every night is probably ideal (Do I hear loud cheers from the men?) Personally I think that two to three times a week should be the minimum. Once in two weeks is probably too infrequent. The most important thing is to have an honest talk with your spouse(without blaming) about what your mutual needs are and what your schedules can accommodate.

9. Study your spouse: Study your spouse in this area, learn what makes them ooh and aah. Do what they like often. Realize however, that people do change and what made your wife have multiple orgasms last week might not be working this week.(Revisit point number 3).

10. Walk in love: If you are not behaving in a loving manner towards your spouse, in and out of bed, all your techniques will be in vain. There is a reason why it is called “lovemaking” and not “orgasmhaving”.

Well, feel free to leave your comments! Have a good night!

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14 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. MasterVee
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 08:37:58

    Wow! I just got guidelines. Well written.

    Reply

  2. Ekpo Ezechinyere
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 09:32:54

    Thanks Shola, this is cool. It is good to be reminded once again that marriage need working at. Thanks.

    Reply

  3. Oluwafemi Popoola
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 13:49:37

    Great tutorial Shola. Going to start practice ASAP!

    Reply

  4. sholashade
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 14:16:07

    Thank you for your feedback! Watch this space for more….

    Reply

  5. Sola Akinola
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 16:40:32

    Love this! Well done.

    Reply

  6. ng
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 17:04:41

    thank u shola, nice reminder…

    Reply

  7. Funmi
    Apr 28, 2012 @ 08:11:08

    Anything for newly divorced single christain mothers or parent on sex matter?

    Reply

    • sholashade
      Apr 28, 2012 @ 14:46:02

      Speaking from a Biblical point of view, the Bible commands against sex outside of marriage. As a Christian divorcee, wait on God for Him to bring you a second chance. As a newly divorced lady, this is the time to get close to God in order to avoid repeating the same mistakes or falling into a similar situation that led to a divorce.

      Reply

  8. sholashade
    Aug 13, 2012 @ 19:31:11

    Reblogged this on sholashade and commented:

    I am reblogging this as a “follow up” to my last post! Enjoy!

    Reply

  9. Abideen "denco" okikiola
    Aug 13, 2012 @ 20:22:50

    Nice, simple and clear. A good reminder

    Reply

  10. boomiebol
    Aug 14, 2012 @ 18:59:18

    Great stuff here. Thanks for sharing

    Reply

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