Are You Ready? Part 2

I recently realized that the most liked articles I have posted on this blog have been those that have to do with marital issues. This one is for ladies. It is amazing how many women get into sticky situations and marry the wrong man in spite of the warning signs.
Once again I acknowledge a lady who inspires me, Tope Akinyemi ( for these tips:

1. If the person you want to marry is a loner, ie, with no friends, he has people issues. You can’t verify how he deals with people based on relationships, you do not need verification with a lifetime commitment. Run!

2.If you are in a relationship and he is not proud to introduce you to his friends/family/colleagues as his girlfriend/fiancé, beware. Maybe he is not that into you.

3.If he insists that you get pregnant before he marries you, he is selfish and is not trying to marry you for you.

4.If he talks to you rudely and does not respect your opinions you will be an extremely frustrated married woman.

5. If he regularly demands that you promise never to leave him, he is insecure. This is not romantic. This is not love. Tread lightly because this is how jealous stalkers are made.

6.If almost every discussion has to feature his mother, and what she would think, and what she thinks, and what she wants, and on and on; watch out! You marriage will be remote-controlled by Mama!

7. If he hits people, or punches a hole in the drywall, or smashes up things when he is annoyed, you will soon become his punching bag!

8. If all he wants to do is spend money like there is no tomorrow, borrow to keep up appearances, and save nothing, he needs to change BEFORE he marries you.

9. If he keeps going on about his past relationship and how great it was, he does not respect you and you cannot compete with a phantom. You are not second best!

10. If after years and years of dating, maybe even living together, having children, he has not married you(and you want him to);face facts darling, he is not going to.

Well I am going to bed now. Hope this helps someone.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Erykah Richards
    Apr 27, 2012 @ 01:09:51

    Good points except that I disagree with #1. There’re many reasons why someone may be a “loner” and the term can be defined in many ways. Many “loners” have attributes that make a very good and dependable spouse while many of the “million friends” type have very challenging relationships. I think personality is the most important thing. One should pray for God’s help in really seeing the true personality of whoever they plan to marry…….and for God’s guidance in looking beyond artificial parameters of personality.


    • sholashade
      Apr 27, 2012 @ 14:22:07

      I see your point. I am something of a loner , myself. Specifically I was refering to people who have no friends and take pride in this fact. Even loner should have one or two people that they call true friends. If you want to marry someone, you do need to see how they relate with other people. One should be wary of people with a “million friends” too, because a lot of these may not be true friends, they may just be hangers on. Your point about praying to God for guidance is spot on. Thanks!


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